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Taken from Aishuu
Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Please post them in your journal and explain what they mean to you.
CCS - Writing fanfic for CCS made me grow up, as a writer. It helped me understand that it takes work to be noticed, and to stay noticed. It gave me a thicker skin, and a broader understanding of writing for others and writing for myself. More than that, though, the series itself touched me. It brought me into anime and manga, and it changed how I think and who I am.
motherhood - Oh, what a scary, wonderful, HUGE word! I didn't want to be a mother, at all, ever, until I was 23. I was certain I would be too terrible at it, and I didn't want to screw up another innocent human being the way I had been. At 23, I realized that that fear might actually make me a better mother than I was afraid of being. It's served me well. Yeah, I'm probably screwing Anakin's life up even as you read this, but I'm not dating child molesters or molesting or beating him, so I figure I've beat the odds as long as I love him and fear ruining his life.
college - I start online classes on the 24th. It's pretty intimidating. I had a dream last night that they made you follow mazes to the right answer and other gimmicks to make sure you're actually the one doing the answers or something. I'm hopeful, but also filled with apprehension. I'm at the mercy of my family and feel pretty powerless...but this is the first step in having my own power and responsibility again, and I hope it's a good example to my son.
determination - It's amazing how much "no viable choice" looks like determination from the outside. Yes, I keep walking forward, but sometimes it's baby steps, and sometimes there are days when I just stare straight ahead and say I'm walking forward in my heart when I know I'm standing still. And maybe, just maybe, from the outside it looks like I have all kinds of excuses to give up and sit down and let myself fail...but from the inside, I have no choice. No alternative. I hope I never do, no matter how hard it is. The thing I'm most determined to do is not to let my chronic depression destroy my life. Literally. Some days it tries to trick me and tell me that Anakin would be better off if I'd just die. And I hang on by my nails, pushing forward, because I'm happily too scared to ruin his life by letting depression ruin mine.
writing - When I was little, I was told I was going to be a famous singer. My grandmother had had some sort of prophetic dream before I was born, and as soon as I showed any hint of talent for music I was pushed in that direction. For the longest time I thought that I was fated for music, it was meant to be, and I didn't have a choice. But, writing is my choice. Writing is my escape from fate and the expectations and control of my family. Writing is my independence, and my way of being me, for me, because I'm me and not an extension of my childhood.
CCS - Writing fanfic for CCS made me grow up, as a writer. It helped me understand that it takes work to be noticed, and to stay noticed. It gave me a thicker skin, and a broader understanding of writing for others and writing for myself. More than that, though, the series itself touched me. It brought me into anime and manga, and it changed how I think and who I am.
motherhood - Oh, what a scary, wonderful, HUGE word! I didn't want to be a mother, at all, ever, until I was 23. I was certain I would be too terrible at it, and I didn't want to screw up another innocent human being the way I had been. At 23, I realized that that fear might actually make me a better mother than I was afraid of being. It's served me well. Yeah, I'm probably screwing Anakin's life up even as you read this, but I'm not dating child molesters or molesting or beating him, so I figure I've beat the odds as long as I love him and fear ruining his life.
college - I start online classes on the 24th. It's pretty intimidating. I had a dream last night that they made you follow mazes to the right answer and other gimmicks to make sure you're actually the one doing the answers or something. I'm hopeful, but also filled with apprehension. I'm at the mercy of my family and feel pretty powerless...but this is the first step in having my own power and responsibility again, and I hope it's a good example to my son.
determination - It's amazing how much "no viable choice" looks like determination from the outside. Yes, I keep walking forward, but sometimes it's baby steps, and sometimes there are days when I just stare straight ahead and say I'm walking forward in my heart when I know I'm standing still. And maybe, just maybe, from the outside it looks like I have all kinds of excuses to give up and sit down and let myself fail...but from the inside, I have no choice. No alternative. I hope I never do, no matter how hard it is. The thing I'm most determined to do is not to let my chronic depression destroy my life. Literally. Some days it tries to trick me and tell me that Anakin would be better off if I'd just die. And I hang on by my nails, pushing forward, because I'm happily too scared to ruin his life by letting depression ruin mine.
writing - When I was little, I was told I was going to be a famous singer. My grandmother had had some sort of prophetic dream before I was born, and as soon as I showed any hint of talent for music I was pushed in that direction. For the longest time I thought that I was fated for music, it was meant to be, and I didn't have a choice. But, writing is my choice. Writing is my escape from fate and the expectations and control of my family. Writing is my independence, and my way of being me, for me, because I'm me and not an extension of my childhood.