tamchronin: (Szark - lessons)
When I heard that it took David Eddings seven years to write Pawn of Prophecy (Belgariad #1) I have to admit I scoffed a little bit. "I could do that in my sleep!"

Okay, so I'm stupid.

It's taking me about that long, and longer, to write Elemental. Part of my world building included writing a novella.

Sure, a LOT has happened in that time, but if I can make this a full time career at some point I won't be able to make excuses.

My World of Warcraft subscription is running out and isn't going to be renewed. No more "obligation" to play just because I'm playing a fee for access on a regular basis. Writing is the priority.

Okay, my job is actually the priority since I kinda need that to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads, but...writing before gaming.

I want the second draft of Elemental to be done by next Sunday. That's my goal.

I can do this.

I will do this.

This is what I want to do with my life.
tamchronin: (Hermione - brown nosing know it all)
As soon as I got that last post out of my system, I felt like I could get back to editing Elemental.

Ten minutes later, no.

Ten minutes after that, maybe.

After that, back to no.

Come on!!!

This is maddening. Seriously maddening. I'm going insane, here.

I've heard that I'll always be my own worst critic, but holy crap. If I can't get over this, no one will ever be able to prove me right. Or wrong. Or anything.

Uh...maybe I shouldn't go looking for bad reviews for Lauren's books, so I don't scare myself away from ever wanting to write ever again. That, uh, may have been a thing...a few minutes ago...a thing that made me decide to not edit today... u_u Well, shit. If I can't handle bad reviews for a friend's books, how will I survive a bad review of my own? GAH!

Must. Write. Anyway.
tamchronin: coctail umbrella captioned "pretty but pretty useless" (Time)
Finished my second draft of the first chapter of Elemental the other day.

The second chapter is looming over me, staring at me and taunting me, telling me to just give up and play video games because I'll never be a good enough writer to make that chapter worth reading.

And then there's book 2 in the Lightbringer series that came out today. Delivered straight to my Kindle. And it's taunting me even worse, telling me I could just sit back and read all day instead of working on my own stories.

Dammit, I've been reading for the last two months. I need to stop that long enough to get some writing done or I'll never be a success!

This chapter is hard. And it sucks. And editing/revising/rewriting is taking so much time that I'm wondering if it's even worth it to try to get published. And why am I working on Elemental when it's probably the least likely to get published? Oh, sure, I love it, but it's first person, and it's...flawed. There are...things. Things that are wrong with it. And there's gender issues and sexual identity issues that are never fully resolved. And it's glorious and I love it, but I'm scared it won't get published so I should work on something with a little more promise. Something a bit more normal.

But...Agrad is my hero. And I adore Krecek to little bitty pieces. And I want to give them a chance.

Aw, crud. I'm scared.

And I'm going to keep editing. Revising. Rewriting. Whatever.
tamchronin: coctail umbrella captioned "pretty but pretty useless" (Time)
I'm four or five (at most) chapters from the end of Elemental.

The scene I'm writing right now is something that hit me a couple of weeks ago, and it disturbs me. Serious, heebie-jeebie, skin crawling disturbing. Something I almost wouldn't believe my main character capable of doing, except it's part of his grand plan to save the world.

I love it SO much.

But yeah, seriously, disturbed by it.
tamchronin: (Satoshi)
For years Elemental has been my baby. I love the story and the characters in it far more than anything else I've ever written, even after all this time. I want it to work, but the last chapter I wrote for it was painful. It hit while my ten-year relationship with Anakin's dad was grinding to a devastating halt, and the desert setting hauntingly reflected my emotional state at the time.

I toyed with scrapping the whole project after how stilted and choppy the last chapter was, especially after one of my best friends pointed out how Agrad was frustratingly complacent and never initiated anything. Instead he just reacts to everything going on around him, much like I was afraid to take any actions in my own situation at the time. I felt like my main character had betrayed me, and I needed to write from another point of view to salvage the story and the world I was still so in love with.

It didn't work. I was relating events in detail that aren't interesting until you know the story. It sucked the life out of what I'd written before, and when I went back to look at it again it was choppy and left out details that could have made the world come to life.

The last three days I've been rereading the original first-person narrative I started so long ago, and I realized that it's still good. It's in need of a LOT of editing, but I can salvage this. It's not as bad as I was afraid it was, if I can just let go of some of the ideas I had of who Agrad is based on how I wanted to see myself at the time, and what I thought a sympathetic character would be. So I'm rolling up my sleeves and writing like I haven't been able to in what feels like forever. I've put in over 2,000 words today, words I actually feel good about for a change, and I'm not finished yet. I don't want to play video games. I don't want to watch TV. I don't want to knit.

I do want to write. And I am.

And it feels good.
tamchronin: (Satoshi)
I'm writing the mythology and history of Elemental while I watch my team get smushed. ;_;

At least I like where my writing is going? And, we've got a whole half left to go. ^_^

AZ isn't doing *too* bad, for their first Superbowl ever, at least. I just wish we weren't losing to Pittsburgh. ~sigh~
tamchronin: (I am a leaf on the wind - Firefly)
Elemental, Agrad, sleeping beneath the stars
for [livejournal.com profile] jupiter_star

Notes: I fudged the prompt a little. Sorry. And I'm not sure if I like this or not, but it's what came to me. Nalia and Agrad are weird from third person...

Dawnsday )


Oct. 10th, 2008 12:11 pm
tamchronin: (I am a leaf on the wind - Firefly)
In my latest story, Elemental, I just followed a 5,000 word chapter with one that's not even 1,500 words. It's barely a scene, let alone a chapter, but it feels right to end it there.

I'm not sure if I'll keep the current format for chapters. Right now, they're parts...and they're just "part one" and "part two". No chapter titles or anything, though I'm trying to make the first lines of each chapter memorable. Just a little something that will stand out and differentiate one from another.

The second chapter doesn't have much "can't put it down" feel to it, though, IMO. I'm not sure what to do with it. After the praise I got for the first chapter, I'm worried about how it will be received. On the other hand, the first chapter ends with a tragedy and a fair bit of tension, and I think I need this chapter to balance that one.

I suppose I'll have to write the third chapter with a little more movement, but not too much. I have to build it back up to an interesting pace without making the second chapter look completely out of place.

Has anyone else run into something like this while they're writing? Does it pan out for you, or do you go back later and think you should tack on the short chapter to something larger?
tamchronin: coctail umbrella captioned "pretty but pretty useless" (Seishirou)
How come nobody yelled at me, huh? lol

Anyway, this is as far as I got before I stalled out a little and decided to flesh out the world and characters a bit more before going on. If you have questions or suggestions or just want me to hurry up and post more, don't hesitate. ^_^

That said, I'm not sure what to think about this part. We'll see what becomes of it, right? Right.

Perhaps 'soon' is completely relative to my perspective. )
tamchronin: coctail umbrella captioned "pretty but pretty useless" (Mad Hatter)
If I don't update this, yell at me. Yell a lot. Pester me. Remind me I'm trying to treat this like a NaNo thing, because I am. Only...with quality writing instead. ^_~

Constructive criticism is welcome. I might cry a little, but I can't improve if it doesn't sting.

And, of course, this is an original story so...if you want to read more than this first part, comment to me and I will add you to the filter.

Part one(a)

I am human )


tamchronin: coctail umbrella captioned "pretty but pretty useless" (Default)
Tam Chronin

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