Erised - Chapter Nineteen

[tamchronin]

I disclaim and disavow all dastardly and deviant intentions dealing with this derivation.

 

 

Legilimency is not the same as the Muggle concept of mind reading.  This cannot be stressed enough, once you begin attempting it.  If you go in with preconceived notions of knowing automatically what another person is thinking or feeling or what they know, you'll fail.

 

Not to belabor the obvious, but every mind is individually more complex than any million snowflakes.  You spend years getting comfortable in your own, and a lifetime making it more individually you.  No one has the same experiences, and no brain makes the same neural connections.  One person might see a white rose and think of their grandmother and her perfume and cookies and possibly snow, in the first layer of thought alone.  Another person might think of the time they fell down a hill into a rose bush and broke their leg and got scratched everywhere and how they never could stand the thought of roses because they remembered that pain.  That is one image you'd have to decode, once you began to try to enter the thoughts of another.

 

How much more complex, then, is trying to learn more about a person when you are bombarded by things that seem contradictory or nonsensical to the way your mind is set up?  To be able to decipher even one common pattern of human behavior in those around you, you must learn a great deal about human nature and psychology, whether you realize you are learning those things or not.  To know even just when those around you are lying takes a great deal of general understanding of how a person's mind works when they do lie, and what makes them lie to begin with.

 

It is enough to fill some people with a contempt for humanity unparalleled by what you usually see even among the most arrogant people.  They look for flaws and weaknesses in others, seeing most easily the same flaws and weaknesses they have themselves, and hate all that they find.  It is worse, even, when they know that that is what they are doing, projecting their own worst traits on others, because it only amplifies the things they hate about themselves.

 

For rare others, Legilimency is a blessing.  They come to accept their own failings because they are not alone, and they learn to see just how wonderful a world it is, that people can still have hope despite their flaws.  Every courageous act, every friendship, every love is proof that there is more light in the world than can be contained, because it struggles even beneath such darkness.

 

One attitude is, of course, more common than the other.

 

 

Chapter Nineteen

Some Other Time

 

Despite what some may assume, the pairs the way they were actually worked rather well.  It was silent in the corner that Harry and Severus shared, but otherwise everyone worked together in perfect harmony.  Some moments were crossed off as inconsequential from other accounts, and at one point James and Lily took their leave to check library over a few of the stranger cases that Hermione hadn't been sure of.  There was more discussion about what they would all be doing, but for the most part everyone just worked to try to see what tasks were ahead of them.  No one in the room truly desired a future where Voldemort became a master of time as well as the vast arsenal of curses he already had backing him.

 

Shortly after Lily and James returned, Severus looked up from where he'd been reading.  "You've got Peter Pettigrew's death circled, right here."

 

Hermione nodded slowly.  "That's right."

 

"Why do you have a question mark beside it?"

 

The only sound in the room came from the fireplace.  No one moved, and no one even breathed, waiting for Hermione's answer.

 

"It didn't seem to be the same person, as who had done everything else," she said quietly.  "There are a few incidents like that.  We'll do them later."

 

"Do you think you know who it was, then?"

 

Hermione hesitated and then shook her head slowly.  "Not exactly.  I just know that it isn't Voldemort or one of his followers."

 

Severus continued to look at her, trying to decide if she was lying or not.  He thought that she must be hiding something, just by the way she acted so nervous as she returned to the book in front of her.

 

"Harry," he whispered, not hoping for much, but wanting a little confirmation.  "You know her, right?"

 

Harry didn't even look up.  "She's hiding something.  I can't blame her, either, if it's you asking."

 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Severus asked, irritated.

 

"It means I don't like you," Harry said.

 

"Oh.  Right.  I'd completely forgotten for an entire second, before you so kindly reminded me.  Thank you."  He returned to what he'd been doing, wallowing in sullen silence.

 

Harry, for his part, didn't look up at all, but he didn't do anything but stare at the page in front of him for a while.  Severus watched him out of the corner of his eye, and finally caught Harry doing the same.

 

"I'm not going to apologize," Harry finally whispered peevishly.

 

"I wouldn't ask you to," Severus murmured, deliberately turning the page.

 

"In my time, you've said horrible things to me, for no reason, and you've abused your power at every opportunity.  If you ask me, the world would be better off without you, after the way you've treated me and my friends."

 

"Cry me a river," Severus replied, rolling his eyes.  "Life's not fair, and I probably did you a favor by showing you that.  It's certainly not something Lily and James would ever teach their own precious little brat."

 

"No, they didn't," Harry whispered bitterly, glaring now.  "They were killed, when I was a baby, so they didn't get much of a chance to teach me anything.  My aunt and uncle certainly taught me more about how unfair the world is than you ever could."

 

Severus made a show of yawning.  "It must make you feel so good, to take this out on me at last, while we're on equal footing."

 

"It doesn't," Harry replied immediately.  "It makes me feel worse.  I can't understand you, and why you don't care about anything."

 

"Is that what you think?" Severus asked, raising an eyebrow and forgetting to keep his voice down in his surprise.

 

Harry just nodded.

 

Severus turned another page.  "Here, look at that one.  She's marked it with a number one."

 

"Are you changing the subject?"

 

"No," Severus replied, looking up at Harry.  "I'm just returning it to what it was supposed to be in the first place."  He stood up and walked over to Hermione, pretending that Harry didn't exist as he pointed out the incident. 

 

Hermione nodded.  "I wanted to look into this one, myself, but I'm worried about it."  She bit her lower lip for a moment, until Harry joined them.  "It's going to need a careful touch, I think.  I'm not entirely sure who should attempt this one, but I also think it's the first one we should do."

 

"I'll do it."

 

"I'll do it."

 

Severus and Harry had both spoken at once, and they glared at each other immediately afterward.

 

"I'll teach you both how to use these," Hermione said, holding out two egg-shaped objects.  "It might be best if the two of you did do this together, anyway.  As you can see, the incident was most masterfully done, if it is indeed an abuse of time travel.  It doesn't necessarily need to be stopped right yet, but it must be closely observed.  I believe it is a key to understanding all of the other incidents."

 

"It looks as if we'll need access to the Slytherin dorms," Severus said with a frown.  "Without knowing the password at the time, that might be difficult."

 

"Yes, but you could go there now, and go back in time from that location," Hermione pointed out.

 

"We'd get caught if we both go, and even if we didn't then there is still the risk that I'd be spotted upon arrival in the past."

 

"That's where I'd come in," Harry said.  "I can make sure we don't get caught."

 

"What?" Severus scoffed.  "Can you turn invisible, or something?"

 

"Yes."

 

It stopped Severus short.  "Really?"

 

Harry nodded, and it was clear he was trying not to smile.

 

"How?"

 

"A Christmas present I received, my first year at Hogwarts," Harry said, smile finally winning.  "I was given an invisibility cloak."

 

Severus stared at Harry in a combination of awe and envy.  "I've always wanted one of those."

 

Harry actually laughed, and it wasn't at all mean.  "I know what you mean.  I can't imagine what it would be like, if I didn't have it."

 

"Can I borrow it?" Severus asked.

 

"No way," Harry said as he fished his invisibility cloak out of Hermione's bag.  "You're not leaving me behind.  We'll...it looks like we'll have to share."

 

Neither Severus nor Harry was exactly happy with the idea of having to share, but it seemed like the best solution.  Hermione quickly showed them how to travel through time and they went over what they needed to find out.  As soon as they were done, Harry slipped on the cloak and Severus stepped outside.  "Stick close," he murmured.  "I won't be able to tell if I've lost you, after all."

 

"Don't worry," he heard Harry whisper.  "I will.  I don't want to miss this.  Now go!"

 

Severus nodded and began walking, ignoring everyone else as he walked to the dungeons.  People gave him wide berth as he stalked the halls, and he was never so grateful for it as now, since he did not want to get separated from Harry and have this whole trip be a wasted effort.  It wasn't going to be much use to anyone, if he got to where and when he needed to be, but had no way of spying upon those he needed to spy on.

 

He reached the door to the Slytherin common room and opened it, uttering the password quietly and hoping that Harry hadn't heard it.  It was a matter of pride that only Slytherins should be able to enter at will.  He felt uncomfortable enough with the idea that he was willfully bringing a Gryffindor into the room.

 

Still, for the chance to use an invisibility cloak, and the ability to further his revenge against the one who almost killed him, it was worth it.  Not ideal, but he didn't think many other Slytherins would exactly fault him for it, or do otherwise if they were in his position.

 

He walked up into his own room where there was less of a chance of interruption, relieved that no one else was in the dorm room at the time.  He left the door open just a moment longer than he usually would and was gratified to feel the brush of invisible fabric against his arm as he waited.

 

Severus leaned against the door.  "I'm glad that part's over," he said with a relieved sigh.

 

"Yes," agreed Harry, pulling off the cloak.  "Now for the hard part."

 

It may be the hard part, but it was also the part that they were both looking forward to the most.

Comments

[christmasjedi.livejournal.com]

Not to belabor the obvious, but every mind is individually more complex than any million snowflakes. You spend years getting comfortable in your own, and a lifetime making it more individually you. No one has the same experiences, and no brain makes the same neural connections. One person might see a white rose and think of their grandmother and her perfume and cookies and possibly snow, in the first layer of thought alone. Another person might think of the time they fell down a hill into a rose bush and broke their leg and got scratched everywhere and how they never could stand the thought of roses because they remembered that pain. That is one image you'd have to decode, once you began to try to enter the thoughts of another.

That was brilliant.

Every courageous act, every friendship, every love is proof that there is more light in the world than can be contained, because it struggles even beneath such darkness.

That was beautiful. Thank you.

"It didn't seem to be the same person, as who had done everything else," she said quietly. "There are a few incidents like that. We'll do them later."

Oooh! I knew it! I didn't make any sense why the same time traveller would have targeted both Dumbledore and Peter. I couldn't think of a connected motive.

Severus stared at Harry in a combination of awe and envy. "I've always wanted one of those."



Harry actually laughed, and it wasn't at all mean. "I know what you mean. I can't imagine what it would be like, if I didn't have it."

Ha!! I can totally see Harry's expression, and it's priceless! I'm shocked he'd reveal that secret though - that cloak has saved him from Snape so many times - he'll be in serious hot water in the future if future Snape now knows about the cloak! (But yet it's also a pretty necessary plot point, as Harry can't do a darned thing without it. ;-)

[tamchronin.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Those are some of my favorite parts of the chapter, too. ~grins~

At this point, Harry knows he's already completely screwed if Snape remembers any of this. "In for a penny, in for a pound." It would help Harry get what he wants, so he offered up the info. (And James very carefully did not react where Snape would notice...but he's made a mental note to keep his own cloak a secret from Snape, just in case. hehe)