Erised - Chapter Twenty-Five

[tamchronin]

This is another chapter.  Here it is.  Right here.  Right now.  For your amusement.  Just for you.  All for you.  For nobody else but you.  Unless you didn't read the warning or disclaimer or notes at the start of the fanfic.  Then it's for someone else.

 

 

Smile.  It is a scientific fact that it makes you feel better.  It's an emotional fact that it makes others feel better, as well.

 

If you're having problems with this, I've got pictures of puppies, kittens, and small children to share that look cuter and cause much less trouble than the real thing.

 

 

Chapter Twenty-Five

It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses Their Life

 

It was ridiculously easy for Hermione to destroy the first egg.  She thought it would have been at least emotionally difficult, but once Bellatrix had regained consciousness her last remaining qualms vanished.  It merely took an act of will, and both the egg and the insane woman vanished.

 

The silence left behind was deafening, and it lasted nearly half a minute.

 

"Thank Merlin," the older Snape groaned.  "I thought she'd never shut up."

 

Severus glared at him.  "Shut up.  You're not allowed to be relieved she's gone, you traitor."

 

Snape looked at his younger self in shock, but it was nothing compared to the shock on Harry, Sirius, Remus, James, and Lily's faces.  Only Ron and Hermione seemed immune, though they both looked a bit confused even still.

 

Snape recovered quickly.  "What in the hell is your problem?  Did someone go back in time and give me brain damage?"

 

"What are you doing, working with her?  She's bloody insane, even now!"

 

"Who are you," Snape said coldly, glaring intensely, "to call me a traitor, when you seem to be working with Black and Potter."  He paused, looked at Harry, and sneered.  "Both of them."

 

Severus crossed his arms, glaring back with just as much intensity.  "And you, working with time travelers?  Do you know who it was who came back to kill me and ended up thinking it was just as good to kill Pettigrew?  Or are you so used to working with the insane and otherwise mentally infirm that it's just a coincidence that one of them tried to kill us?"

 

Hermione almost spoke up, to point out again that she thought it was a different party responsible for that particular event, but doubt hit her.  Could she really be so sure?

 

"You won't understand until you've been through it," Snape replied.  "I do not have to answer to you for another fifteen years, at least."

 

"Don't you dare speak to me as if I am merely an ignorant child!" Severus screamed back at him.  "I know you better than anyone else ever will, and I can't stand the sight of you!"

 

Snape rolled his eyes.  "Save it," he said.  "I've heard it all before, at least a million times."

 

"Stop it!" Hermione said, standing between the two and holding out her hands.  "I don't know why you're yelling at yourself like this, Severus, but stop!  It's not going to help."

 

"Oh, I don't know," said Harry, covering his mouth to (unsuccessfully) hide a grin.  "I'm finding it to be rather amusing, myself."

 

"Shut up, Harry," Severus snapped.

 

"Shut up, Potter," Snape barked at the same time.

 

Harry had to turn away as he fought not to laugh.

 

"I'm not amused," Hermione said, trying to glare at all three of them at once.  Harry seemed to find this a comical attempt, but the Snapes weren't impressed.

 

"I'm with Harry, on this one," James said, grinning.  "I'm sorry, Severus.  Seeing you yell at yourself like that is too much.  I hope you realize I'd be laughing harder if it was any of the rest of us, though, at least."

 

"Speak for yourself," Sirius chortled.

 

"This isn't helping your whole case for friendship," young Severus said darkly.

 

"I know," James said pathetically.  "I'm sorry.  I really am."

 

The older Snape, for his part, was now looking completely bewildered.  "What is going on here?  What's happened?"

 

"Peter died saving your, or at least his life," Remus explained to Snape.  "So, to make it worth something, we've decided to turn over new leaves and befriend, um, him."

 

"And you're stupid enough to believe that?" Snape demanded, looking at his younger self.

 

"Believe it, yes."  Severus replied.  "Buy into it?  No.  Not for a moment.  And don't you dare call me stupid."

 

"I'll call you whatever I want."

 

"You'll lick his boots if we say," James said, standing up and looking firm.  "He's our friend.  You're not.  You're just a prisoner."

 

"James," Severus said with a bit of a frown, "do you have any idea how disturbing that actually is to me?"

 

"Not really," James said.  "If we run into my older self, I'll be sure to offer up the opportunity."

 

"Dad!" Harry protested in shock.

 

Severus looked as if the concept had entirely broken his mind.

 

James just shrugged.  "It would be weird, but..." he trailed off with a shrug.

 

Severus continued to look at him funny.

 

Snape rolled his eyes.  "Since I'm your prisoner," he sneered, "what are you, a bunch of kids, planning on doing with me?"

 

"We could kill him," Harry offered hopefully.

 

"Harry," Hermione admonished.

 

"I wouldn't suggest it for the other one, and that's an improvement.  Just the old Snape."

 

"We're not killing anyone," Hermione said firmly.

 

"Hear that, Sevvie?" Sirius teased.  "She's soft on you.  Just saved your life."

 

Both Snapes twitched, in unison.

 

"If I never hear that offensive diminutive again, I will die a happy man," Severus said.

 

"I meant him," Sirius protested, pointing at the ugly, bitter, glaring old professor.  "You're our friend, and you've even stopped forgetting to shower every night.  By the time you're this git's age, you'll a person worth knowing!"

 

"That's enough, Sirius," Lily said, frowning.  "You can't insult one without the other, so just stop it."

 

"If we didn't tease him, he'd think we didn't like him anymore." Sirius said, pouting cutely.  "Come on, Mom, just a few more barbs for old times?"

 

"That doesn't make any sense," Severus protested.  "You never liked me in the first place."

 

"I almost did," Sirius said brightly.  "For about ten minutes, when we were talking about eviscerating whoever is responsible for all this.  Remember?"

 

"Oh, yes, how can I forget," Severus said, voice dripping with sarcasm.  "I think I fell in love that night."

 

"You, too?" Sirius said.  He got up and bounded over to Severus, then posed on one knee before him.  "Such a connection that can never be forgotten, nor laid aside!"

 

Remus pretended to look shocked.  "But, Sirius, didn't last night mean anything to you?  What about us?"

 

"I'm going to be sick," the older Snape said, turning his head away.

 

Harry looked like he wanted to agree, but he kept his mouth shut.  Everyone else in the room just laughed.  Even Severus joined in with the joviality, though his was a bit more reserved than everyone else.

 

It was short lived, however.  They still had to figure out what to do with the other Snape.

 

"I don't suppose," Ron began, hesitantly, "that if we ask you really nicely you'll just tell us who you got the time travel spell from?"

 

"That depends, Mr. Weasley," Professor Snape said mockingly.  "If I ask you really nicely, will you sprout a brain between your ears?  Tell me.  Is there any reason I should answer to any of you here?"

 

"And this guy's a professor?" Ron asked, turning away with a slightly disturbed expression.  "Even Riddle is nicer than he is."

 

"Professor Snape," Hermione began, "we really--"

 

"Of course," Snape interrupted.  "The know-it-all speaks next."

 

Hermione snapped her mouth shut, shocked.

 

The room fell silent for a bit, and then young Severus finally spoke up.

 

"Actually," he drawled, "I can think of one perfect reason for you to answer this and have done with us."

 

"Oh really?" Snape asked, glaring a bit.  "And what might that be?"

 

"The sooner you help us, the sooner you'll be done with us all and we'll release you."

 

It only took Snape a minute to agree that his younger self was perfectly right.  He began to tell them at least some of what they asked, and it confirmed everything that Hermione had dreaded about the past, the present, and all of the possible futures.

Comments

[twilightspirit.livejournal.com]

That........ amuses me muchly!

[christmasjedi.livejournal.com]

It only took Snape a minute to agree that his younger self was perfectly right. He began to tell them at least some of what they asked, and it confirmed everything that Hermione had dreaded about the past, the present, and all of the possible futures.


Dude! Spill it over this way!