Tam Chronin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tamchronin) wrote2008-12-08 10:39 am
tamchronin) wrote2008-12-08 10:39 am
Entry tags:
8 - Softly, Silently
CCS, bittersweet and snowy
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dwarfy_drm
Notes: I think I'm just going to get all the CCS fics done in one lump now, while the muse cooperates. ^_^
Softly, Silently
It wasn't that Yue hated the snow.
Before Clow had died, snow had been a reason for celebration. It was light and fluffy and pretty, and Yue loved the cold and the idea of just how complex every little bit of it was. He'd loved everything about it, until that day.
Until that day.
It didn't snow enough in Tomoeda that he dwelled upon it. He hid inside Yukito until the pain went away, and there were a thousand and one distractions for him if he tried. Touya was especially kind to Yukito when it snowed, so it was no hardship to just let the memory wash over him and bring its pain, and then let it pass.
"I'm glad you came to visit," Yue said softly. He hadn't needed to hear the footfalls behind him, crunching in the snow, to know that Eriol was finally there.
Eriol had grown taller in the ensuing years. Yue was a little surprised as he turned around to look, but he wasn't much taller than Syaoran after all. All of Sakura's friends had grown, so it shouldn't have been so surprising.
"I did say that if you wanted to talk, about the past, I would like to do that," Eriol said, smiling gently as he took just a couple more steps closer. "I'm only sorry it has taken me so long to return."
Yue shook his head, thinking carefully of just what he wanted to say. Questions and demands and every word he'd thought he'd wanted to say over the ensuing years seemed unworthy of being voiced now, in the face of finally having his chance. "You do things in their own time," he said, forgiving all with one phrase.
"No I don't," Eriol said, chuckling softly. "I never have, Yue. Not as Clow, and not as myself."
"What?" Yue looked up, surprised.
"I'm surprised you didn't notice," Eriol laughed. "Sometimes I'm patient enough to do things at the right time, but only when I don't have much of a choice. If I had such saintly virtue, in waiting for things to be just right, would I have learned so much magic?"
Yue stared at him in shock, trying to say something but completely unable to decide on what. This conversation wasn't going at all the way he'd expected.
"I'm sorry," Eriol said, obviously making an effort to stop laughing. "I know. You want to carry this image in your mind where Clow was perfect, but he wasn't. He was powerful, but we have our flaws." He sobered completely by the last sentence and looked into Yue's eyes.
"I know that," Yue said defensively, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring just a bit. "I'm not the same as I used to be. I've grown since...then." He gestured around him, as if "then" could be pointed to and quantified.
Eriol beamed proudly. "Sakura tells me all the time, how much things change, how you are doing, how everyone is doing, but it's hard not to see you the same way as I once did. There was a time you'd as soon cry as admit that Clow had any flaw at all."
"I would never," Yue backed up a step, stung.
"You would," Eriol said. "And you did. But Clow was selfish, and impatient, and they're traits I've inherited from him. But despite his flaws, he loved you very much. And he could never tell you just how much he appreciated how much you loved him."
It was completely disarming, and still not at all similar to the conversation that Yue had expected to be having this day. But, Clow had always done that. He'd always changed things until they didn't resemble even remotely what you thought you wanted...but he tended to change them to what was needed.
"You're not making this easy," Yue said. "You're so much like him."
Eriol paused a moment, frowning. "Am I?" He ran a hand through his hair, looking troubled for a moment. "I suppose it can't be helped, especially when I'm around you. This part of me that was him wants to hold you and tell you it's all okay now, and never wants to leave."
"Is that why you've stayed away?"
The words clearly struck a nerve. Eriol flinched and turned his back, pulling his overcoat tightly around him. "Yue..."
They stayed like that in silence for a while, lost in their own thoughts until the silence felt it would crush them both. More than once, Yue opened his mouth to apologize, but he couldn't bring himself to actually do so.
Eriol was the one to finally break the silence. "There are many reasons," he finally said, sighing and turning around again. He reached out and touched Yue's cheek. "None of them are because I don't like you."
Yue nodded, leaning in to his touch. "Thank you," he said quietly. "I think I understand."
They looked at each other, lost in the past and trapped in the future together. Maybe Eriol was a lot like Clow. Maybe that couldn't be helped. But he was so different as well, Yue realized now. They were both different, now.
Finally Yue pulled away. "I always loved the snow, remember? But now, it just makes me so sad."
"I'm sorry," Eriol whispered. "That's one thing that Clow couldn't change. It happened when it had to happen. But also, because he hoped that the snow would be a comfort to you."
"It didn't work," Yue said bitterly.
Eriol nodded. "Sometimes," he muttered, "Clow could be an idiot."
Yue looked at him in surprise once again. Of all the things to say...
It surprised him into laughing, just slightly. "Sometimes," Yue agreed.
They both laughed then, and finally they could talk.
for
dwarfy_drmNotes: I think I'm just going to get all the CCS fics done in one lump now, while the muse cooperates. ^_^
Softly, Silently
It wasn't that Yue hated the snow.
Before Clow had died, snow had been a reason for celebration. It was light and fluffy and pretty, and Yue loved the cold and the idea of just how complex every little bit of it was. He'd loved everything about it, until that day.
Until that day.
It didn't snow enough in Tomoeda that he dwelled upon it. He hid inside Yukito until the pain went away, and there were a thousand and one distractions for him if he tried. Touya was especially kind to Yukito when it snowed, so it was no hardship to just let the memory wash over him and bring its pain, and then let it pass.
"I'm glad you came to visit," Yue said softly. He hadn't needed to hear the footfalls behind him, crunching in the snow, to know that Eriol was finally there.
Eriol had grown taller in the ensuing years. Yue was a little surprised as he turned around to look, but he wasn't much taller than Syaoran after all. All of Sakura's friends had grown, so it shouldn't have been so surprising.
"I did say that if you wanted to talk, about the past, I would like to do that," Eriol said, smiling gently as he took just a couple more steps closer. "I'm only sorry it has taken me so long to return."
Yue shook his head, thinking carefully of just what he wanted to say. Questions and demands and every word he'd thought he'd wanted to say over the ensuing years seemed unworthy of being voiced now, in the face of finally having his chance. "You do things in their own time," he said, forgiving all with one phrase.
"No I don't," Eriol said, chuckling softly. "I never have, Yue. Not as Clow, and not as myself."
"What?" Yue looked up, surprised.
"I'm surprised you didn't notice," Eriol laughed. "Sometimes I'm patient enough to do things at the right time, but only when I don't have much of a choice. If I had such saintly virtue, in waiting for things to be just right, would I have learned so much magic?"
Yue stared at him in shock, trying to say something but completely unable to decide on what. This conversation wasn't going at all the way he'd expected.
"I'm sorry," Eriol said, obviously making an effort to stop laughing. "I know. You want to carry this image in your mind where Clow was perfect, but he wasn't. He was powerful, but we have our flaws." He sobered completely by the last sentence and looked into Yue's eyes.
"I know that," Yue said defensively, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring just a bit. "I'm not the same as I used to be. I've grown since...then." He gestured around him, as if "then" could be pointed to and quantified.
Eriol beamed proudly. "Sakura tells me all the time, how much things change, how you are doing, how everyone is doing, but it's hard not to see you the same way as I once did. There was a time you'd as soon cry as admit that Clow had any flaw at all."
"I would never," Yue backed up a step, stung.
"You would," Eriol said. "And you did. But Clow was selfish, and impatient, and they're traits I've inherited from him. But despite his flaws, he loved you very much. And he could never tell you just how much he appreciated how much you loved him."
It was completely disarming, and still not at all similar to the conversation that Yue had expected to be having this day. But, Clow had always done that. He'd always changed things until they didn't resemble even remotely what you thought you wanted...but he tended to change them to what was needed.
"You're not making this easy," Yue said. "You're so much like him."
Eriol paused a moment, frowning. "Am I?" He ran a hand through his hair, looking troubled for a moment. "I suppose it can't be helped, especially when I'm around you. This part of me that was him wants to hold you and tell you it's all okay now, and never wants to leave."
"Is that why you've stayed away?"
The words clearly struck a nerve. Eriol flinched and turned his back, pulling his overcoat tightly around him. "Yue..."
They stayed like that in silence for a while, lost in their own thoughts until the silence felt it would crush them both. More than once, Yue opened his mouth to apologize, but he couldn't bring himself to actually do so.
Eriol was the one to finally break the silence. "There are many reasons," he finally said, sighing and turning around again. He reached out and touched Yue's cheek. "None of them are because I don't like you."
Yue nodded, leaning in to his touch. "Thank you," he said quietly. "I think I understand."
They looked at each other, lost in the past and trapped in the future together. Maybe Eriol was a lot like Clow. Maybe that couldn't be helped. But he was so different as well, Yue realized now. They were both different, now.
Finally Yue pulled away. "I always loved the snow, remember? But now, it just makes me so sad."
"I'm sorry," Eriol whispered. "That's one thing that Clow couldn't change. It happened when it had to happen. But also, because he hoped that the snow would be a comfort to you."
"It didn't work," Yue said bitterly.
Eriol nodded. "Sometimes," he muttered, "Clow could be an idiot."
Yue looked at him in surprise once again. Of all the things to say...
It surprised him into laughing, just slightly. "Sometimes," Yue agreed.
They both laughed then, and finally they could talk.
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~does a happy dance and then gets back to work on Generations~
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♥
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